Frustrations

There are so many aspects of this situation that lift my spirits and allows the “hassles” to be so rewarding. Other parts of the situation make me want to scream, lock myself in a closet, and go to sleep. (What’s sleep?!)

In our initial face-to-face meeting with our county worker, Miranda*, I really stressed the fact that my husband and I both work full time. I will move to part time after I go through my extensive training period somewhere around the middle of June. I asked about getting transportation for the girls even though we aren’t licensed through the county and she said that since we a fostering kids from the county and the fact that their daycare is “right down the road and 15 minutes from the Children’s Services office”, this should not be a problem and that she would “rally for us” to get transportation. I will pick up on that issue later. Mary* from our foster agency was also at this meeting so she witnessed this conversation.

During one of the first phone calls I had with Miranda, she said that visitation was likely and that we would talk about my and my husband’s schedule to see what we could work out. In the face-to-face meeting, she told us that she had set up their visitation for two times a week right smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. Ok, not ideal but thank goodness she is going to arrange transportation or there is no way that is going to work………

Overall, the meeting went well and I was excited to get confirmation about transportation and answers to some other questions about the children from Miranda. She told me that she would talk to the appropriate people and call me sometime the next day. So the next day came…..and nothing. The second day after our meeting, I gave her a call and got her voicemail, I left a message saying that I was just checking in and to see if she had any news for me. This happened again and again and again.. I left voicemails, had the office secretary write messages on paper and leave on her desk, talked to transportation/visitation/supervision/probably the janitor to try to figure out what was going on. Finally the day of the first visitation, TWO hours before the girls were supposed to be at their visit, a county worker that had just been assigned to our case, Allison, called me and said she talked to Miranda and that there had never been any intentions of transporting the children back and forth to visits and that we were going to have to make arrangements. Thank the Lord that I had that day off work so I was able to take them but what in the world and I going to do the other days? She actually suggested that my husband or I take a long lunch to take the girls to their two hour visitation. I thought she had to be joking. Other options were thrown around but I have no clue how we are going to make it work. I fell like we were just hung out to dry.

I was so mad. I was angry. I am usually very patient with people but I had to express how I was feeling. I assured Allison that I know she is new to the case and that I wasn’t upset with her but I was (and still am) FURIOUS with how Miranda handle the situation. She avoided my calls and then was untruthful about what she had said during our face-to-face meeting. Jon and I have jobs that we have to go to. I am still in a probationary period at my job where calling off could get me fired. It just isn’t an option. Now, I am left to find someone to transport the girls twice a week when I am unable to. I told Allison that I want to move the visits to a time that better works for us, which is what should have been done in the first place. I think our needs were neglected and I believe that Miranda dropped the ball. I just needed a five minute phone call to let me know what is going on and she couldn’t even manage that.

Jon and I are trying our best to do everything we can for these kids and then I get put into this situation. As if all the routine changes, appointments, and everything aren’t difficult enough, this is just one more thing to add to my list.

Luckily, I have an extremely supportive husband or I would lose my mind.

And I might as well ask, anyone out there in Bloggerland that could transport and couple sweeties for me twice a week? No? Oh, that’s ok. I’m just trying out every option possible. 

*Names have been changed because it's the nice thing to do.

Appointments

If there is one thing that we weren't told during the training process, it would be the amount of appointments that would be required.

I have never been great at time management but that has had to change. My giant desk calendar and Google calendar have become my BFF and I feel lost without them. As I look at my calendar for the month of June, it is almost overwhelming to see no empty squares. We have something every day. Some things are fun but some are things that I wish we didn't have to do but I know we must.

After receiving the children, we had to arrange a meeting with our foster caseworker, Mary*, within just a few days of getting the girls. We were also required to arrange a meeting with a case worker from the county, Miranda*, as well. Luckily, I was able to get them both to come to our house on the same day at the same time. Mary is supposed to check in every 2 weeks and Miranda said that someone else would be assigned to our case in 30 days and they would have to visit the home (from what I remember) once or twice a month. Jon and I are both on a full time schedule so finding holes for these meetings is limited.

Each girl also has to have a physical and the oldest has to have an eye doctor and dentist checkup within 30 days of being with us. I called to arrange physicals with their regular doctor and told me that they do not make consecutive appointments for siblings and that I would have to schedule their appointments on different days. I begged the secretary to make an exception. I even said I would pay a fine if I didn't show up... or better yet, bring baked goods when I did! She laughed and said that she could not make exceptions. So, there is another 5 days of appointments with a doctor, dentist, and optometrist within 2 weeks of each other.

Now visitation. The children visit with their parents twice a week. I love that. I think that is great. There is a lot that I could say about what I think about how the whole visitation situation has been handled but that will have to wait for a different post. These are appointments that I don't mind getting them too. ;)

We have had other visits with different county agencies to make sure the girls are on track developmentally but thankfully, those visits have taken place in our home and I don't have to load 5 kids in the car for them.

I don't even what to think of what it is going to be like in August when school picks back up.
I can't wait until I drop down to true part-time and eventually per diem at work. These kids are amazing and to care for them requires a lot of organization, dedication, and sacrifice. It is all a process to get the girls reunified with their mom.

*Names have been changed because it's the nice thing to do.

The first 24 hours

Foster parent.

That is what I am now. Well, technically Jon and I have been licensed to be foster parents since January. We said yes to many different kids and had no luck getting a placement until about 2 weeks ago. That is when we got the phone call for a sibling group of 3 and for privacy reasons, they will be referred to as A, B, and C... just to keep things simple.

We got the referral call for them at about 4:30 on a Tuesday. Jon and I talked it over and felt that it was a challenge that we would be willing to take on. We used the logic that 3 healthy children with no delays would be easier than having a medically fragile child. You know, less appointments, therapy sessions, etc. We had yet to get a phone call for a child that was healthy with no mental disturbances or physical disabilities. Not that we didn't say yes to children that were in that situation. We had said yes to children with feeding tubes, Down's syndrome, sexual abuse victims, etc. This was kind of like hitting the jackpot. Just a few hours later when I pulled into the driveway after a long 12 1/2 hour shift, there they were. Jon was holding 9 month old baby C, 22 month old toddler B was sleeping on the couch, and 4-year-old A was standing by the door because she was obviously scared of our dog... and kitten. I barely remember any of the meeting with the intake coordinator. I couldn't remember her name even if I tried. There were 3 large binders of paperwork filled with medical information, legal information about their bio parents, a life book that I am supposed to fill out, and a mile long list of what we are to do next.

It was very overwhelming.

The intake coordinator wished us good luck and then she left. And in that moment, our house of 4 became a house of 7. I went through the diaper bag that came with them. There were a couple diapers, no wipes, some small cans of formula, and two dirty bottles. There were a few other things in there but not much. My heart was breaking for these girls and I could not wait to get to the store and buy them everything that they deserved. I then realized that it would be a massive shopping trip that would have to wait and that I should just get the girls the essentials for the night/next day. The county gave us a voucher to take to Walmart to get the children what they needed so I ran to Walmart and bought them each some pajamas and an outfit for the next day, a pack of new bottles, socks, and a pair of shoes. The total didn’t even come near the amount that was on the voucher. It turns out that the voucher is a one-time use only so I paid for their pajamas out of my own money and returned home. Jon and I got the girls ready for bed. Amazingly, they all went to bed with no problems and I returned to Walmart after everyone was asleep to get everything they needed. Clothes, shoes, hair care items, toothbrushes, swimming suits, diapers, wipes, formula, bottle brushes, bibs, the works. I got home at almost 2 in the morning and had to be to work at 10 the next day.

When everyone woke up the next morning, I showed the kids their outfits that they were going to be wearing. A was so excited to get new clothes. I handed her underwear to put on and she held them in the air and danced around. She wasn’t wearing any when she came to us so I bet that would be kind of exciting! Everything else about our first morning went smoothly until we got to their daycare. I had been calling the county all morning to ensure that they were going to fax over the paperwork needed to enroll them. When we went into the office, I was told that they had received no paperwork so I started making phone calls. To make a long story short, I ended up having to take the kids to another foster family for a babysitting type situation and I was an hour late to work. Luckily, my boss is very understanding and didn’t write me up. (I am still in the 90-day probation period and being late could have gotten me fired) Oh, and then at almost 2 in the afternoon, I got a phone call that the paperwork was pushed through and I would be able to drop them off at the daycare the next day with no hassle.

Jon picked up Liam and Adelyn from the sitter and I picked up our new additions from daycare and our first 24 hours was in the books.

What can happen in a year?

Wow. I can not keep a blog up to save my life. 

So what has happened since I graduated? 

Well, I've been enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. 

Sadly, that will be coming to an end soon because 

Jon and I want to get a nice house out in the country. 

The city life is just not for us! I've applied for a few jobs 

but haven't found anything that I want to do yet. 

It will happen-- in time.

What else has happened? 

Liam is a 2-year-old! 

He is such a dare devil! He is such an amazing 

little guy with a huge personality. 

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! 

Liam became a BIG brother! 

Adelyn was born in late March and she is the 

sweetest little baby. At three months, she only

 cries when she is hungry and sleeping

 through the night in her own bed. :)

She recently started smiling. My heart swells each time she does.

 

I love my kids so much. SOOOOO much!!

may-hem

I did it! I did it!



I graduated from college. Many people doubted me but here I am, an alumni of The University of Toledo. 3 1/2 years ago I was told that it would never happen after Jon and I got married. Again, when we found out we were pregnant, I was reminded how "impossible" it was to being full-time mom and a full-time student. Well, I must have done something right because I made it through. I am NOT a statistic.

Also, my little Liam is ONE!! That just boggles my mind! He has grown to be such a little character.


It is amazing to see how much he has changed over the last year! :)
I'm so glad I took these!
We love you very much Liam!

March Madness

Sometimes I just feel like I'm running on auto-pilot. Half the time, I reach the end of the day and wonder how I got there. I feel like I juggle so many roles of wife, mother, housekeeper, student, chef, financial organizer, secretary, personal assistant, zombie, etc. and I feel like I have lost myself. I have to question how other moms do it?! How do you balance all the plates without dropping one. I try to handle to the stress the best I can but what do I do when I feel that I am about to break?

BUT --- there is a light ahead! about 41 days ahead! I GRADUATE MAY 8th! I just did a backflip with excitement!

Liam has been keeping me and Jon SOOOO BUSY. He loves walking behind toys around the living room. It would be swell if he didn't walk for a few more months, at least until I graduate. He can climb up our stairs to the second floor and get on top of the coffee table. (We have made adjustments to prevent this any more). His babbling consists of mama, dada, gaga, and baba. He loves to point to things when we look at books and I think it is so adorable. I try to get him to hold up his pointed finger and say "mama is #1!" but he hasn't gotten there yet. He goes down at night without being rocked to sleep. That doesn't sound like that big of deal but for a while there when he was smaller, I LOVED rocking him to sleep but I wanted to break the habit before he required it to go to sleep and we have been successful. His teeth are so funny. He has to the two bottom middle teeth and two really cute vampire fangs on top. I've never seen anything like it!

Other than that, he's just a normal ornery boy!

Jon and I have recently "revamped" our budget and have made major cuts. Our biggest downfall is going out to eat. We live in a city where there is a restaurant on every corner. We really want to pay down our debt so we can stop worrying and start living! Money is a difficult subject. Jon and I don't really fight about it though. (Thank goodness!) I know that money is one of the top subject couples fight about.

A hobby that I've taken up is couponing. It is AMAZING how much you can save if you just took the time to do it! I get coupons in the Sunday paper, online, and sometimes off ebay. I have saved a TONNNN this year. I have stocked up on many personal items for this year but when stuff is FREE, I get it!

Examples:

3 Old Spice Body Washes
3 Old Spice Deodorants
3 Secret Deodorants
2 Herbal Essences Shampoos
1 Aussie Shampoo
5 Boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
3 Boxes Hamburger Helper
2 Packs of Sausage
1 Mozzarella Cheese
1 Pampers Wipes
TOTAL: $7.01 after coupons!!

24 cans of Chunky Soup for $6.16 after coupons!!

It is such a thrill when I score some good deals! I usually save about 65% on my shopping bill! :)

Speaking of shopping bill.. I need to make up my shopping list for this week! It usually takes about 30-45 minutes to surf the coupon blogs I follow and scan Kroger's ad to figure it out but like I said, It is totally worth it!

Happy Holidays

Blogs are tough to keep up with anymore! I kept one in high school and seriously updated at least once, if not more, every day!

Things is Toledo are going well. We got quite a bit of snow last night. It started out at rain and then turned to snow and then froze. Jon couldn't get his truck doors open this morning at 6:30-something this morning so he had to take my car. Liam and I have been cooped up all snuggly and warm today.

This is a picture of Liam and his cousins. :)



Liam has been running a low fever these past few days. Last night was the worst at 102* but it broke shortly after we gave him a little Ibuprofen. I'm wondering if it is his teeth or what his deal is. I've busted out the humidifier in his room because of how dry the air feels. He is really growing quickly despite his "not-feeling-so-good" mood. He has been army crawling around the house and getting into everything. Jon did an experiment of putting something he is allowed to have and something he isn't allowed to have in front of him and he always goes for the more dangerous thing. Last week, he started pulling himself up on the furniture. I walked into his room one morning and he was standing in his crib so we had to put the mattress down a bit. He is going to run me ragged. I'm a nervous wreck as I try to prevent bumps and bruises but he's quick! Jon encourages his advancements but I'd rather him stay a baby. :)



Jon and I have been trying to decide when #2 should come. We will need to plan for this one more financially since our insurance is different and doesn't cover all the stuff our old plan did. He thinks it would be awesome to have our kids close together because they could be on the same little league team and we wouldn't have to worry about taking different kids to different activities. Sadly, he thinks all of our kids will be boys and athletic boys at that. And of course, the convenience of not having to drive a few extra miles is totally worth it, right?! I'm not completely sold on the idea as I don't think I could handle multiple little little ones at once. Plus, I'd really like to move out of the house we are in before we have another baby. This one is not child friendly at all. I'm not looking forward to potty training due to the fact we only have one bathroom and it is on the 2nd floor. That's how all the houses are in our neighborhood unless they have renovated and added one. We might just have to put a bucket in the dining room. ;)

This semester is winding down to a close. Actually, tomorrow is my last day. January 10th will be the first day of my last semester ever! I can hardly believe it! It will only have taken be 6 years to obtain a 4 year degree. I guess that's what I get for getting married early and starting a family, right? It's okay though. It will be a HUGE weight off my shoulders! May 8th is my graduation date! :) I can almost taste it! A delicious piece of paper that is worth thousands and thousands of dollars. Yummy.

Be safe in this snow and have a Happy Holidays! :)
Remember that Christ is the reason for the season!!