April 30, 2015

10 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days

Total Days:330

I have had it in my heart that I have wanted to adopt a child for as long as I can remember. I have a motherly instinct that I can’t control. When I suggested fostering to Jon, he probably thought I was crazy. He was very supported and we went through countless hours of in-service, trainings, scrutinizing of our home, and evaluation of our family, we were licensed the January 2014.

Then the phone calls for placements started coming in.

I estimate we probably got 15 - 20 calls within the first 5 months. Our very first call was when Jon and I were out shopping for toddler beds. The phone call was for two children older than what we prefered. Some others that I remember was a 2-year-old with MRSA on his arms and legs; a 4 year old with a feeding tube that required therapy to learn how to eat because her mom made her sick on purpose; kids with developmental delays, physical limitations, exposure to sexual abuse, physical abuse, and neglect. It makes my heart hurt when I recall the details that I would receive from our agency worker.

I started a new job in May 2014 and a few weeks in, we received a phone call about a sibling group of 3 girls ages 9 months, 20 months, and 4 years. T, Ke, and Ka came into our lives like a raging storm. No matter how prepared you think you are for it… you aren’t. I came home from work to find Jon holding baby Ka, Ke sleeping on the couch, and T standing by the front door. With just a few signatures, the county worker left and the question “What do we do now?!”..

I had to get clothes, child care, hair care supplies.. So much to do!

We celebrated three birthdays, Ka took her first steps, Ke really picked up with her speech and T began her first year of school. So many milestones. They made me so proud.

Through all the good times, there was also many times of frustration.

Every other week, we had someone from our agency or the county in our home to check on the girls and how they were doing in our home. Maybe that was a good thing..? I did keep my house clean! The girls’ parents had weekly visitation. Their mom was always there and always so nice to me, Jon, and the kids. It was so relieving to have a parent that was cooperative. Their dad on the other hand… no comment. I don’t understand how someone could be satisfied with seeing their children for 7 hours over the span of 6 months. I’d walk hours to see my children, even if it was only for a few minutes.

The responsibilities of a foster parent exceeded Jon and my expectations. Doctor’s appointments were one of the biggest hassles. The girl doctor’s office wouldn’t allow me to triple up on appointments. When I had to get their physicals done, I had to schedule 3 appointments on 3 different days. I had to take 5 kiddos with me. It was a nightmare. The girls could only be in the care of a licensed daycare, our emergency contact, and other licensed foster parents. In short, that means date nights for jon and myself were few and far between. We used respite 4 times during our nearly 11 months with the girls. Once for something fun, once for a holiday out of state and twice to visit my brother-in-law and niece after my sister-in-law’s passing. It is very difficult to do fun family outings with 5 little ones. We went camping, to the zoo, and to the park but that was the extent of our “fun family trips”. So much red tape in nearly everything we wanted to do. Couldn’t do any water parks, pool, or ponds with the water dangers. Couldn’t cross state lines for anything without special permission. We survived through.

There are more issues with the government and how they deal with these cases but I don’t even know where to start.

Most of my complaints are only inconveniences. These aren’t deal breakers when it comes to fostering. Right now, we are taking a break. I would love to do another placement sooner but we will know when the time is right.

During our break, I hope we are able to get more in-service training in before the end of the year to renew our license. We have some fun things planned for the summer and hopefully, we can get those out of the way before accepting a new placement.

I encourage everyone reading this to consider getting involved with the foster care system. Never in my life have I done something so rewarding. Any questions? Feel free to ask!

An Update.

We are approaching six months as a family of 7.
Six months of choas, stress, tears, smiles, laughs, and love.

Jon and I never knew what we agreed to when we said yes to these girls nearly half a year ago. Liam and Adelyn have grown to love them and even consider them like sisters. We have been able to get ourselves into a good routine to maintain sanity and ensure that everyone gets to where they need to be....at lease 99% of the time.

A is in kindergarten and although she has some behavioral issues at school, she is improving greatly. When she first came to us, she knew three letters by site and only some of her colors and shapes. She couldn't even write her name. Now, she has about 80% of everything down. I'm very proud of her. What she lacks in that area of knowledge, she definitely makes up for it in her life skills. When she came to us she could tie her shoes, change a diaper, and make a bottle. How many kids can do that at age 4? She was forced to grow up too quickly and it has been a challenge to try to get her to slow down. She has a big attitude and likes to be in charge. This behavior reflects how she was expected to take care of her sisters when she was just a baby herself. If she has a banana, cookie, anything.. she will automatically break it up into three pieces and share with her sisters. She has protective instincts I don't think I developed until I became a mother. I constantly pray that she can learn to control the urges to control the world and just be a kid. She deserves nothing less.

B is my wildcard. Sometimes she's the most precious thing with the sweetest little voice but other times her terrible two-ness comes out and she gets so sassy as she throws a temper tantrum on the floor. She likes everything to be a certain way and when it's not, she can't take it. At first, she didn't really talk. Actually, I'm pretty sure she didn't try to make any kind of verbalization until at least two weeks after they came to live with us. She only babbled and couldn't make any words. Now, I can't get her to be quiet! She is still a little delayed with her speech but she is making words and it has become a lot easier to understand. She loves saying "I a pin-cess" and she loves wearing the princess dresses. That is her currency. Other than time-out, which doesn't even phase her, if she isn't listened she gets her dresses put up for a little bit. You would seriously think it was the end of the world. She loves to "explore" or as I like to call it MESSING! I don't know another kid that would use the cottage cheese on their dinner plate like sunscreen and spread it on all over their arms and face.

C has celebrated her first birthday, took her first steps, and said her first words while in our care. I feel badly for her mom because she wasn't able to experience those things with her. C does a great job keeping up with Liam, Addie, A, and B. She is a climber and is able to get on the couch or chair with the other kids when they are watching a movie or playing with something at the dining room table. Thankfully, she hasn't figured out the baby gates yet or we would be in big trouble! Her personality is really starting to come out and if I know any better, she is going to be the one that tries to push the limits. I can see her testing Jon and myself at times and it is hard not to give in to her because she is so sweet but we try to provide consistency for her so she knows what she can and cannot get away with.

I'm just finishing up my first semester of nursing school while working almost 20 hours a week. I don't think I have every been more stressed out, tired.....no, exhausted, and weepy in my life. Often, I get so overwhelmed that I just cry and that is usually not like me. I am so thankful that I have such an amazing support system that has really carried me through the tough times. Jon is my teammate in this endeavor. He definitely picks up the slack where I lack. My mom has come up many times to give me a hand with the kids and just give me a little time to breathe. My in-laws have taken Liam and Addie several times to lighten the load so we only have 3 kids for a weekend.

**Our families have been so welcoming and loving to our girls. We celebrated their birthdays three months in a row! I know it was a lot for them because Jon & Addie's are in March, mine is in April, Liam's is May, and three girls each have one in June, July, and August. It was a lot of birthday fun but our families ensured that they had the best birthday possible. They were the same kinds of parties that my kids would have. What a blessing! My aunt Shara is the closest family member we have up here and she has been a pivotal part of our successes so far. Do you know how hard it is to get one kid to preschool, one to a babysitter, two to daycare, and one to kindergarten? Shara helps us out when she can by driving Liam and Addie to and from the east side. She is also able to watch the girls if Jon and I need a little break. One of her boys is almost the same age as Liam and she lets me borrow him to keep Liam entertained and takes Liam to her house to offer me some time without Liam and A constantly trying to one-up each other. When I get really stressed, she inspires me. She handles her two boys, who are smart, respectful, well-rounded dudes, with grace and does it on her own. She reminds me that anything is possible as long as you don't give up and persevere. I probably should have started out with her because she is one of my biggest cheerleaders and support. Forgive me? <3 br="">

My dearest friends Cyndel and Meghan have provided support and encouragement when I've needed it most. Cyndel and her mom even reached out to me when I didn't even ask and helped to clean my house when it really needed it. Meghan lends an ear and lets me vent and gives me advice that is actually worth something and makes me feel better. Even one of my newest friends, Brittni, has come over and helped me organize and tidy up. I am so blessed with such caring people to help me and Jon along this crazy season in our lives especially when we don't seek out any assistance. I believe friends who can recognize that you are struggling and reach out to you are the best kind of friends there is. I appreciate it so much I could about cry while typing this.

The holiday season is approaching and I am predicting things are going to get a little crazy.
..but I'm going to try not to think about that just yet. ;)

[pardon all spelling and grammatical errors......it's late]

Frustrations

There are so many aspects of this situation that lift my spirits and allows the “hassles” to be so rewarding. Other parts of the situation make me want to scream, lock myself in a closet, and go to sleep. (What’s sleep?!)

In our initial face-to-face meeting with our county worker, Miranda*, I really stressed the fact that my husband and I both work full time. I will move to part time after I go through my extensive training period somewhere around the middle of June. I asked about getting transportation for the girls even though we aren’t licensed through the county and she said that since we a fostering kids from the county and the fact that their daycare is “right down the road and 15 minutes from the Children’s Services office”, this should not be a problem and that she would “rally for us” to get transportation. I will pick up on that issue later. Mary* from our foster agency was also at this meeting so she witnessed this conversation.

During one of the first phone calls I had with Miranda, she said that visitation was likely and that we would talk about my and my husband’s schedule to see what we could work out. In the face-to-face meeting, she told us that she had set up their visitation for two times a week right smack dab in the middle of the afternoon. Ok, not ideal but thank goodness she is going to arrange transportation or there is no way that is going to work………

Overall, the meeting went well and I was excited to get confirmation about transportation and answers to some other questions about the children from Miranda. She told me that she would talk to the appropriate people and call me sometime the next day. So the next day came…..and nothing. The second day after our meeting, I gave her a call and got her voicemail, I left a message saying that I was just checking in and to see if she had any news for me. This happened again and again and again.. I left voicemails, had the office secretary write messages on paper and leave on her desk, talked to transportation/visitation/supervision/probably the janitor to try to figure out what was going on. Finally the day of the first visitation, TWO hours before the girls were supposed to be at their visit, a county worker that had just been assigned to our case, Allison, called me and said she talked to Miranda and that there had never been any intentions of transporting the children back and forth to visits and that we were going to have to make arrangements. Thank the Lord that I had that day off work so I was able to take them but what in the world and I going to do the other days? She actually suggested that my husband or I take a long lunch to take the girls to their two hour visitation. I thought she had to be joking. Other options were thrown around but I have no clue how we are going to make it work. I fell like we were just hung out to dry.

I was so mad. I was angry. I am usually very patient with people but I had to express how I was feeling. I assured Allison that I know she is new to the case and that I wasn’t upset with her but I was (and still am) FURIOUS with how Miranda handle the situation. She avoided my calls and then was untruthful about what she had said during our face-to-face meeting. Jon and I have jobs that we have to go to. I am still in a probationary period at my job where calling off could get me fired. It just isn’t an option. Now, I am left to find someone to transport the girls twice a week when I am unable to. I told Allison that I want to move the visits to a time that better works for us, which is what should have been done in the first place. I think our needs were neglected and I believe that Miranda dropped the ball. I just needed a five minute phone call to let me know what is going on and she couldn’t even manage that.

Jon and I are trying our best to do everything we can for these kids and then I get put into this situation. As if all the routine changes, appointments, and everything aren’t difficult enough, this is just one more thing to add to my list.

Luckily, I have an extremely supportive husband or I would lose my mind.

And I might as well ask, anyone out there in Bloggerland that could transport and couple sweeties for me twice a week? No? Oh, that’s ok. I’m just trying out every option possible. 

*Names have been changed because it's the nice thing to do.

Appointments

If there is one thing that we weren't told during the training process, it would be the amount of appointments that would be required.

I have never been great at time management but that has had to change. My giant desk calendar and Google calendar have become my BFF and I feel lost without them. As I look at my calendar for the month of June, it is almost overwhelming to see no empty squares. We have something every day. Some things are fun but some are things that I wish we didn't have to do but I know we must.

After receiving the children, we had to arrange a meeting with our foster caseworker, Mary*, within just a few days of getting the girls. We were also required to arrange a meeting with a case worker from the county, Miranda*, as well. Luckily, I was able to get them both to come to our house on the same day at the same time. Mary is supposed to check in every 2 weeks and Miranda said that someone else would be assigned to our case in 30 days and they would have to visit the home (from what I remember) once or twice a month. Jon and I are both on a full time schedule so finding holes for these meetings is limited.

Each girl also has to have a physical and the oldest has to have an eye doctor and dentist checkup within 30 days of being with us. I called to arrange physicals with their regular doctor and told me that they do not make consecutive appointments for siblings and that I would have to schedule their appointments on different days. I begged the secretary to make an exception. I even said I would pay a fine if I didn't show up... or better yet, bring baked goods when I did! She laughed and said that she could not make exceptions. So, there is another 5 days of appointments with a doctor, dentist, and optometrist within 2 weeks of each other.

Now visitation. The children visit with their parents twice a week. I love that. I think that is great. There is a lot that I could say about what I think about how the whole visitation situation has been handled but that will have to wait for a different post. These are appointments that I don't mind getting them too. ;)

We have had other visits with different county agencies to make sure the girls are on track developmentally but thankfully, those visits have taken place in our home and I don't have to load 5 kids in the car for them.

I don't even what to think of what it is going to be like in August when school picks back up.
I can't wait until I drop down to true part-time and eventually per diem at work. These kids are amazing and to care for them requires a lot of organization, dedication, and sacrifice. It is all a process to get the girls reunified with their mom.

*Names have been changed because it's the nice thing to do.

The first 24 hours

Foster parent.

That is what I am now. Well, technically Jon and I have been licensed to be foster parents since January. We said yes to many different kids and had no luck getting a placement until about 2 weeks ago. That is when we got the phone call for a sibling group of 3 and for privacy reasons, they will be referred to as A, B, and C... just to keep things simple.

We got the referral call for them at about 4:30 on a Tuesday. Jon and I talked it over and felt that it was a challenge that we would be willing to take on. We used the logic that 3 healthy children with no delays would be easier than having a medically fragile child. You know, less appointments, therapy sessions, etc. We had yet to get a phone call for a child that was healthy with no mental disturbances or physical disabilities. Not that we didn't say yes to children that were in that situation. We had said yes to children with feeding tubes, Down's syndrome, sexual abuse victims, etc. This was kind of like hitting the jackpot. Just a few hours later when I pulled into the driveway after a long 12 1/2 hour shift, there they were. Jon was holding 9 month old baby C, 22 month old toddler B was sleeping on the couch, and 4-year-old A was standing by the door because she was obviously scared of our dog... and kitten. I barely remember any of the meeting with the intake coordinator. I couldn't remember her name even if I tried. There were 3 large binders of paperwork filled with medical information, legal information about their bio parents, a life book that I am supposed to fill out, and a mile long list of what we are to do next.

It was very overwhelming.

The intake coordinator wished us good luck and then she left. And in that moment, our house of 4 became a house of 7. I went through the diaper bag that came with them. There were a couple diapers, no wipes, some small cans of formula, and two dirty bottles. There were a few other things in there but not much. My heart was breaking for these girls and I could not wait to get to the store and buy them everything that they deserved. I then realized that it would be a massive shopping trip that would have to wait and that I should just get the girls the essentials for the night/next day. The county gave us a voucher to take to Walmart to get the children what they needed so I ran to Walmart and bought them each some pajamas and an outfit for the next day, a pack of new bottles, socks, and a pair of shoes. The total didn’t even come near the amount that was on the voucher. It turns out that the voucher is a one-time use only so I paid for their pajamas out of my own money and returned home. Jon and I got the girls ready for bed. Amazingly, they all went to bed with no problems and I returned to Walmart after everyone was asleep to get everything they needed. Clothes, shoes, hair care items, toothbrushes, swimming suits, diapers, wipes, formula, bottle brushes, bibs, the works. I got home at almost 2 in the morning and had to be to work at 10 the next day.

When everyone woke up the next morning, I showed the kids their outfits that they were going to be wearing. A was so excited to get new clothes. I handed her underwear to put on and she held them in the air and danced around. She wasn’t wearing any when she came to us so I bet that would be kind of exciting! Everything else about our first morning went smoothly until we got to their daycare. I had been calling the county all morning to ensure that they were going to fax over the paperwork needed to enroll them. When we went into the office, I was told that they had received no paperwork so I started making phone calls. To make a long story short, I ended up having to take the kids to another foster family for a babysitting type situation and I was an hour late to work. Luckily, my boss is very understanding and didn’t write me up. (I am still in the 90-day probation period and being late could have gotten me fired) Oh, and then at almost 2 in the afternoon, I got a phone call that the paperwork was pushed through and I would be able to drop them off at the daycare the next day with no hassle.

Jon picked up Liam and Adelyn from the sitter and I picked up our new additions from daycare and our first 24 hours was in the books.

What can happen in a year?

Wow. I can not keep a blog up to save my life. 

So what has happened since I graduated? 

Well, I've been enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. 

Sadly, that will be coming to an end soon because 

Jon and I want to get a nice house out in the country. 

The city life is just not for us! I've applied for a few jobs 

but haven't found anything that I want to do yet. 

It will happen-- in time.

What else has happened? 

Liam is a 2-year-old! 

He is such a dare devil! He is such an amazing 

little guy with a huge personality. 

Oh yeah! I almost forgot! 

Liam became a BIG brother! 

Adelyn was born in late March and she is the 

sweetest little baby. At three months, she only

 cries when she is hungry and sleeping

 through the night in her own bed. :)

She recently started smiling. My heart swells each time she does.

 

I love my kids so much. SOOOOO much!!

may-hem

I did it! I did it!



I graduated from college. Many people doubted me but here I am, an alumni of The University of Toledo. 3 1/2 years ago I was told that it would never happen after Jon and I got married. Again, when we found out we were pregnant, I was reminded how "impossible" it was to being full-time mom and a full-time student. Well, I must have done something right because I made it through. I am NOT a statistic.

Also, my little Liam is ONE!! That just boggles my mind! He has grown to be such a little character.


It is amazing to see how much he has changed over the last year! :)
I'm so glad I took these!
We love you very much Liam!

March Madness

Sometimes I just feel like I'm running on auto-pilot. Half the time, I reach the end of the day and wonder how I got there. I feel like I juggle so many roles of wife, mother, housekeeper, student, chef, financial organizer, secretary, personal assistant, zombie, etc. and I feel like I have lost myself. I have to question how other moms do it?! How do you balance all the plates without dropping one. I try to handle to the stress the best I can but what do I do when I feel that I am about to break?

BUT --- there is a light ahead! about 41 days ahead! I GRADUATE MAY 8th! I just did a backflip with excitement!

Liam has been keeping me and Jon SOOOO BUSY. He loves walking behind toys around the living room. It would be swell if he didn't walk for a few more months, at least until I graduate. He can climb up our stairs to the second floor and get on top of the coffee table. (We have made adjustments to prevent this any more). His babbling consists of mama, dada, gaga, and baba. He loves to point to things when we look at books and I think it is so adorable. I try to get him to hold up his pointed finger and say "mama is #1!" but he hasn't gotten there yet. He goes down at night without being rocked to sleep. That doesn't sound like that big of deal but for a while there when he was smaller, I LOVED rocking him to sleep but I wanted to break the habit before he required it to go to sleep and we have been successful. His teeth are so funny. He has to the two bottom middle teeth and two really cute vampire fangs on top. I've never seen anything like it!

Other than that, he's just a normal ornery boy!

Jon and I have recently "revamped" our budget and have made major cuts. Our biggest downfall is going out to eat. We live in a city where there is a restaurant on every corner. We really want to pay down our debt so we can stop worrying and start living! Money is a difficult subject. Jon and I don't really fight about it though. (Thank goodness!) I know that money is one of the top subject couples fight about.

A hobby that I've taken up is couponing. It is AMAZING how much you can save if you just took the time to do it! I get coupons in the Sunday paper, online, and sometimes off ebay. I have saved a TONNNN this year. I have stocked up on many personal items for this year but when stuff is FREE, I get it!

Examples:

3 Old Spice Body Washes
3 Old Spice Deodorants
3 Secret Deodorants
2 Herbal Essences Shampoos
1 Aussie Shampoo
5 Boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese
3 Boxes Hamburger Helper
2 Packs of Sausage
1 Mozzarella Cheese
1 Pampers Wipes
TOTAL: $7.01 after coupons!!

24 cans of Chunky Soup for $6.16 after coupons!!

It is such a thrill when I score some good deals! I usually save about 65% on my shopping bill! :)

Speaking of shopping bill.. I need to make up my shopping list for this week! It usually takes about 30-45 minutes to surf the coupon blogs I follow and scan Kroger's ad to figure it out but like I said, It is totally worth it!

Happy Holidays

Blogs are tough to keep up with anymore! I kept one in high school and seriously updated at least once, if not more, every day!

Things is Toledo are going well. We got quite a bit of snow last night. It started out at rain and then turned to snow and then froze. Jon couldn't get his truck doors open this morning at 6:30-something this morning so he had to take my car. Liam and I have been cooped up all snuggly and warm today.

This is a picture of Liam and his cousins. :)



Liam has been running a low fever these past few days. Last night was the worst at 102* but it broke shortly after we gave him a little Ibuprofen. I'm wondering if it is his teeth or what his deal is. I've busted out the humidifier in his room because of how dry the air feels. He is really growing quickly despite his "not-feeling-so-good" mood. He has been army crawling around the house and getting into everything. Jon did an experiment of putting something he is allowed to have and something he isn't allowed to have in front of him and he always goes for the more dangerous thing. Last week, he started pulling himself up on the furniture. I walked into his room one morning and he was standing in his crib so we had to put the mattress down a bit. He is going to run me ragged. I'm a nervous wreck as I try to prevent bumps and bruises but he's quick! Jon encourages his advancements but I'd rather him stay a baby. :)



Jon and I have been trying to decide when #2 should come. We will need to plan for this one more financially since our insurance is different and doesn't cover all the stuff our old plan did. He thinks it would be awesome to have our kids close together because they could be on the same little league team and we wouldn't have to worry about taking different kids to different activities. Sadly, he thinks all of our kids will be boys and athletic boys at that. And of course, the convenience of not having to drive a few extra miles is totally worth it, right?! I'm not completely sold on the idea as I don't think I could handle multiple little little ones at once. Plus, I'd really like to move out of the house we are in before we have another baby. This one is not child friendly at all. I'm not looking forward to potty training due to the fact we only have one bathroom and it is on the 2nd floor. That's how all the houses are in our neighborhood unless they have renovated and added one. We might just have to put a bucket in the dining room. ;)

This semester is winding down to a close. Actually, tomorrow is my last day. January 10th will be the first day of my last semester ever! I can hardly believe it! It will only have taken be 6 years to obtain a 4 year degree. I guess that's what I get for getting married early and starting a family, right? It's okay though. It will be a HUGE weight off my shoulders! May 8th is my graduation date! :) I can almost taste it! A delicious piece of paper that is worth thousands and thousands of dollars. Yummy.

Be safe in this snow and have a Happy Holidays! :)
Remember that Christ is the reason for the season!!

Liam and I went to the park for the first time by ourselves today. We have many different parks here in Toledo and I have yet to go to all of them but I'm sure that will change as he gets older. This one is just down the road from us. There are a few different playgrounds and many awesome trails. Most times, you are able to see deer passing through. It's quite amazing to find deer in the middle of the city. I took the opportunity to take my camera with me to see if I could get a few cute pictures of Liam. Photography has always been an interest of mine and I'm kind of disappointed in myself for not doing this sooner. I was very please with the results! :)





Until next time....

2 months have flown by!

HOLY SMOKES! It is amazing how fast time goes after having a child. Liam is such a little stinker! I learn more and more about him every day. He has so many little quirks. Examples - smiling almost every time he spits up on me. When I make a "motorcycle sound" by blowing air through my lips, his eyes get really really wide. And no matter what time of day it is, if I lay with him all nestled in my arm as we lay in my bed, he WILL take a nap. I just love him. Best of all, he isn't a clingy or whiny baby. He is perfectly content laying on the floor. He loves looking around and taking in the sites around him. He doesn't cry unless something is wrong. Although, it sometimes takes mom and dad a while to figure it out. I love my boy... but what mother doesn't?!

Majority of my friends and family have called me crazy for this but I've been doing some research on cloth diapering and I must say.. I've been flirting with the idea for weeks. The mothers that I have talked to have been so helpful and positive about the subject that most flat out said that they would never go back. There are so many reasons to go to cloth! They are better for your pocketbook. They are better for the environment. They are better for your baby! Yes, they are a pain in the butt to have to wash but once you get into a routine of washing your diapers, it will be easy-peasy! Listen to me, I'm talking like I've done it for years. Here's the scoop..

FINANCIALLY:

Did you know that if I were to put Liam in a store-brand diaper such as Target brand Up&up diapers, within 3 years, I would spend about $1400 on something that he pees/poops in and I throw it in the garbage? The cost would be about $1800 if I used a name brand like Pampers. I'm not even going to do the math if I would use a "Green" brand. That would be over $2000 in diapers alone! Not to mention wipes, powders, and creams! Now multiply that number by how many children you have/plan to have! GAH! Luckily, cloth diapers can be passed down through siblings. Money saver!!

Sorry Liam, but I don't want to put a pile of $20 bills on the ground and let you do your biznass all over them.

Now, when it comes to cloth diapers, they can get a little expensive. I'm planning to use BumGenius 3.0 One-Size diapers. The brand just release a "4.0" version so the 3.0s are now cheaper! :) The initial cost of a diaper supply is a bit high. You must pay one large lump sum but then you can have them forever. And the nice thing is, if you keep good care of your diapers, you can usually sell them on ebay for 50% of what you paid for them. Once I have all the diapers I need, I plan to have spent around $250 - $300.

What would you rather pay? $300 or $1400 - $2000?!

ENVIRONMENTALLY:

I'm not an environmental freak but I do think it is an added bonus that the thousands of diapers I would use aren't going into a landfill. I hear baby poop gets quite smelly in direct sunlight.. I feel bad for the people living near one of those! I did a quick google search and an estimated 27.4 BILLION disposable diapers are used each year in the United States alone. That is a possible 3.4 MILLION TONS of dirty diapers in landfills across the country. SICK!

Yes, cloth diapers means more laundry and more water being used but washing your diapers every 3 days is about the equivalent of 5 extra toilet flushes a day.

HEALTHY:

There are so many things in disposable diapers that I can't pronounce the majority of them! Pampers Dry Max has been under attack because they are responsible for blistering and leaving severe rashes on thousands of babies. A chemical in the diaper reacted with the babies skin and a rash began and continued to get worse. That is scary! Liam is currently in Pampers but I got rid of all the Dry Max ones we received as gifts. Cloth diapers are made from natural and safe materials like cotton, fleece, hemp, and wool. They can be used in all kinds of combos to create the amount of absorbency for your baby. With natural fibers such as these, it makes diaper rash a lot less frequent. I've talked to mothers who CD and their baby has never had a single sign of a rash. One pointed out that many of her friends had made the change to "safe and natural" cleaning products but then continued to put the same types of chemicals around their children's most sensitive area 24 hours a day.

If anyone is interested in the knowledge about CDing I have acquired over the last few weeks, let me know! It can get a little overwhelming if you research with no idea what you are looking for!

TRUST ME!

Has it really been 5 weeks?!

Without a doubt, being a mother is the most exhausting, emotional, exciting, awesome, and rewarding thing I've ever done. I love my son with such intensity I never knew existed. Liam is such a good baby! :) He eats 3 oz. of formula every 3-4 hours and sleeps in 2 hour blocks during the day and 4 hour blocks at night. I will be so excited when he starts sleeping through the night. I started out breastfeeding while supplementing with formula due to my milk taking a few days to come in and then it went well for about a week then I started pumping to make night-feedings going quicker. Sadly, my supply was enough in the beginning but little piglet wanted more than what I could give. I had some nights where we would nurse for an hour and he'd cry for more. It broke my heart because I felt like I wasn't doing something right but we did start giving him formula. I tried pumping so he'd get a little breast milk but I'd only get 1/2 oz combined so I don't even bother.

As for Liam, he is holding his head up so well and follows things with his eyes. I swear I saw him flash a smile at me today. And he definitely has Jon wrapped around his little itty bitty finger.

I love my new family of three.

Here he is!

Liam Rocson Lockie

May 18th, 2010
10:42 pm
7 lbs 7 oz
20 inches

He is my world.

The Day Before It Happens!

WOW! I don't think I've ever felt this many emotions all at once!

I had my final OB appt today! Everything looks great and I'm progressing but my blood pressure was a little high so I am scheduled to be induced sometime tomorrow! I know there are risks with being induced. I've been over them a thousand times but my OB thinks that this is what would be best for my situation and she's the professional. I'm not sure what time exactly I'm supposed to be there but the hospital should be calling me within the next few hours. I can hardly contain myself!

I can't believe I am going to a mother or even yet, Jon is going to be a father. God has trusted Jon and I to take care of this new life for the rest of ours. It is unreal. I know women have children every day but I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I am going to be one of those women. Granted, I am incredibly nervous about delivery but I know I will make it through. I have so many friends and family lending their support so I know we aren't doing this alone. I am so blessed.

I can't hardly stand to sit in front of this computer anymore.

I'm going to go try to do some of the last minute things I've been putting off..

The Waiting Game - 39w 2d

After being TKO'd for the last few days from a sinus infection, things are looking up! I ended up having to go to the emergency room Thursday night because the medicines I was taking weren't really helping at all. God must have arranged that visit because the normally packed waiting room was completely empty! I pretty much walked in, was admitted and back in an exam room within 20 minutes (a record in my experience). Poor Jon though. I woke him up at 3am and told him I really needed to go to the hospital and I'm pretty sure the first thing he thought was "OMG! SHE'S GONNA HAVE THE BABY!" but I made it clear that I wanted to go to the ER because I thought my head was going to implode on itself. After the hospital and a quick trip to the pharmacy, we were back home and in bed by 5am. About 2 1/2 hours later, Jon was up and leaving for work. He was so tired. :( Bless his heart. The doctor gave me instructions to take the antibiotic Augmentin, Sudefed PE, Vicoden, and Afrin. I was really nervous about taking so much but if I would have gone into labor during this sickness, I don't think I would have made it. So, thank you Dr. Bobbi Jean @ Toledo Hospital!

This morning has been beautiful. It is pretty chilly at 48* but the sun is shining and we are supposed to have a high of 70. Jon has a project that is due first thing Monday morning and it didn't get all the way finished this past week so he had to go in for a few hours. From what I understand, his team is designing a fire-water system for the Marathon oil refinery in Detroit. Sounds fancy, right? His company was just signed onto a job in St. Croix in the Virgin Islands. I will be so jealous when he gets to go away but we aren't sure when that will be. Maybe Baby Lockie and I will sneak on the plane and join him..? ;)

This pregnancy has flown by............. up until about a week ago. Now it's moving at a snail's pace. I've grown tired of people calling to ask if he's here yet or telling me when I should have him. I'm pretty sure the whole world would hear me yelling from the rooftops that my son has finally arrived and if I had it MY way, he'd totally be in my arms already! If he doesn't come by Monday, my doctor suggested an induction on Tuesday. We had been offered an induction this past Thursday (due to my OB being on call at the hospital) but Jon and I both decided it's probably better to wait for things to happen naturally. In regards to the induction option on Tuesday, I really want my OB to be the one to deliver my baby. She is awesome and has seen me through this entire process so far. So, either way, Jon and I will be "daddy" and "mommy" by Wednesday at the latest.

This picture is me at 33w 3d. I should really get a more updated picture before it's too late!

Well, I'm sure that is enough for now. I have a million things to do around the house since I haven't really left my bedroom for the past 3 days.